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back in time

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

7:13 AM

HaPpY Or?

go skul as normal..bt one thing is 2dae dismiss early abit at 12.10pm..wee..gdgd..went up de hall..after tat jiu went back class for lesson le..first period is cpa..go com lab cant use com..sianx diaox..=.= dun noe y cant use so cher jiu let us watch movie lorx..after de lesson end jiu pe le..=.= dun lyk pe lehx..cher always dun let us play wat we lyk de..jiu dun lyk lorx..yeah..pe finally end le..go take my wallet jiu go canteen buy water..eeee...blueice nt nice de..haix..neva mind..after tat jiu went back class continue our lesson..is math..bell ring..end le..wee..RECESS
hahax..siao..go recess lorx..go toliet change..den jiu go find ling,xin lorx..saw meishi dere oso..=] jiu stand dere tok tok..end le..go back class..english listen le..bell ring..finally..after skul jiu go meet juliana..omg..forget wanna go find ling n xin..paiseh paiseh..jiu go jurong point..go mac eat..saw ling,xin,doremon n jam..walk toward them den ling sae we wait for euu all until rain lehx..paiseh paiseh..neva go find euu all..paiseh..sori..=x tok tok awhile jiu go buy thing eat le..=] eat finish food de..den i stupid stupid go shout SERENE..den she called mi..haix..suan le..dun post..suan le..after tat jiu go bugis wif juliana they all..ying lata den cum meet us..den jiu go dere walk here walk dere..bought 2 shirt n one short..hahax..=] go walk walk until 6+ wnna go eat de..bt den rain heavily sia..jiu sae go back jurong point eat lorx..=] wao..gd man..go ling yu..weeeee..wet wet de..go take mrt back..ying sae she goin home le..den we jiu go jp makan lorx..finish le..chat chat awhile jiu go home le..Hope all my frendz stay happy..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

WaT aM i TiNkInG?

go skul as normal..went up de hall see until my classmates sitting one line..haix..sianx diaox..=.= always lyk tat de..bo bian lorx..need to go veri inside sit down..so hot man..no fan..=.= suddenly mr aziz come our class ask "which class is tis?" no one respond..=x den jiu called my name "lihua which class euu frm?"=.=" omg..scared mi sia..tot wat lehx..suddenly call my name..=x den he called de guy which dun wanna move stand up..we tot we all must stand up oso bt neva..he sae dun need onli them..=] go back to class..first period is mt lesson..wee..=p cher neva come..so other cher come lorx..dun noe her name le..forget liaox..=] at de two period neva do work..so boring..neva do anithings..so sit dere chat chat lorx..=p dun noe why cher neva come sia..after mt lesson end is cme lesson..wao..cher sae holidae gt project to do..sianx..dun noe how to do..neva mind..cher sae do jiu do lorx..pair wif ying..after her lesson endis dnt..sianx..doin workbookin class..hahax..neva listen wat cher is saeing..he called us to copy wat he wrote on de board..i dun even care wat he writting..so messy..hu noe wat euu writting worx..jiu slp awhile lorx..wake up..jiu omg=.=" haben finish my work..goin bell ring le..wawa ask my frendz how to do arx?jiu borrow her book see lorx..=] his lesson end jiu cpa..wee..gdgd..go com lab..reach de room inside..see de clock left 15min cant do anithings den cher sae euu all can surf net..weeeee..gd man..can surf net..go blog look here look dere..=] bell ring le..so fast..jiu need to turn off com..sad..jiu go down recess lorx..after recess is math lesson..after tat is english lesson..jiu dnt..bell ring le..hahax..tis time after skul le..wee...go canteen makan wif ying..awhile jiu saw ling waking toward..eat le jiu sit dere studi eoa formula lorx..coz lata gt practical exam..scared..haix..=x finish typing all de words..omg..forget how to delete de table sia..haix..scared..hand in all de paperjiu go down de canteen find ling..cant find her den stay back see netball match awhile..jiu go outside le lorx..at outside saw ling sitting dere sia..shock..paiseh..we sit dere wait for xin cum..coz she gt nitex class mahx..meet le..tok tok awhile..she hab to go in le..den we jiu go home lorx..happiness neva last..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I aM sO sOrRy AbT iT..

2dae go skul as normal..=.=" haix..no mood 2dae..i oso dun noe y..seldom tok oso..maybe is good for mi bahx..2dae get back my math paper le..passed..dun feel happy at all..haix..after math lesson end is english lesson..feel slping..bt neva slp..scare de cher scold..so neva slp at her lesson norx..so tired..her lesson end is dnt..ermx..dun noe why mr tan neva come..neva go ask oso..hack care..so mdm shakita(dun noe how to spell) gib us work to do lorx..finish doin awhile jiu recess le..dun feel lyk goin..omg..2dae ja is de last lesson we hab le..so boring..haix..next term back to normal le..sianx diaox..dun noe cher will put wat lesson on it..=.= after ja end..i go wait 4 ling n xin..meet le jiu go canteen makan..paiseh..realli veri sori..gib euu all tis type of face..paiseh..haix..wat i wan worx?wat am i tinking?cant i put everything aside?i cant speak..i feel juz keeping to myself more better..i feel nw i realli dun..i feel i am..haix..or maybe i tink too much..i dun noe..everythings dun noe lahx..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..
i realli hope tat i am nt here..
de feeling is gd..
i dun noe wat am i tinking..
i cant find de reason..
i am dead..
2dae hab my eoa test..
haix..
neva studi..
failed le..
haix..
suan le..
de dae past realli realli veri fast..
i dun noe wat will happen tml..
it seen nw a dae..
i dun hab de mood to studi..
maybe i shouldnt go..
i dun fit wif them..
i dun noe wat ur heart is tinking..
i dun understand euu le..
we getting further le..
i cant tell euu wat my heart is tinking..
coz i oso dun noe wat my heart is tinking..
sori sori sori sori sori..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

It seen long time i neva update le..
hu am i?
can i be euu?
i am realli veri bad..
i dun noe wat should i do nw..
i veri confuse..
i prefer mi is euu..
i dun noe y..
i hope..
i realli hope..
i tink euu is better den mi..
bt..
i realli dun noe..
i am sori..
realli veri sori..
i cant fen bian which one is correct..
i cant speak..
haix..
i cant euu de ans..
coz i am realli veri confuse..
should i go wif euu?
i am so disapointed of myself..
i hate myself alots..
y cant i be gd..
i dun fit in tis world..
haix..
suan le..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

haix..

am i slacking too much?
i guessed i realli slack too much le..
neva pay attention in class oso..
dun understand wat teacher is saeing..
haix..
so disappointed of myself..
my result dropped..
exam is round corner le..
i still haben start studi yet..
haix..
lihua y arx..
cant euu start studi nw?
cant euu?
2dae gt practical exam 4 my cpa..
i dun even noe wat to do..
dun even noe wat is de meaning..
failed le lahx..
haix..
i gona start nw le..
i cant be always lyk tat..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I aM hOpeLeSs
I aM uSeLeSs

i listen all ur words..
nw den i realise i am nt i..
ni shou wo zai tao bi..
yar..
wo shi zhen de zai tao bi..
wo bu xiang mian dui xian shi..
ni zi dao ma?
wo zhen de bu xiang..
euu dun noe wat am i tinkin nw..
euu always sae,euu sae de is correct..
bt..
wat am i goin to do?
i dun wish to noe de true..
pls dun tell mi..
i dun wanna to called..
haix..
wo zhen de bu zhi dao..
i hope de things will nt happen on mi..
euu juz let mi be bahx..
euu dun stop mi..
pls dun..
it is veri hurt..
euu juz accept wat i hab done..
euu juz close one eyes..
dun bother abt mi animore..
juz let mi be nw..
maybe tis will help..
stop askin mi..
I am stupid..
damm stupid..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

i am veri sori..
i shouldnt do tat..
dui bu qi..
i shouldnt sae tat word..
i dun mean de..
i am useless..
i am hopeless..
i am de one..
nt euu..
plz 4gib mi..
wo yi shi de chong dong..
dui bu qi dui bu qi..
ni bu yao fang zai xin shang..
hao ma?
seen euu lyk angry wif mi..
haix..
i hab nth to sae..
SORI....
i noe i had done wrong..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

okiex..
at phone euu blame mi nt telling euu..
cum home euu oso sae y dun go help..
y dun go tell..
how i go help?
i dun even noe..
euu noe mahx..
y anithings happen euu all wanna scold mi?
wanna blame mi..
y?i realli dun noe lorx..
euu sae anithings happen euu always here..
nw?
well..
all is my fault..
okiex?
happy..
call euu,euu sae lata call back..
wat euu wan mi to do?
neva call euu back euu scold mi..
call euu den euu..
haix..
nth i can sae..
so nw i decided nt to call le..
juz get scolding frm euu bahx..
i am use to it..
at home oso lyk tat..
haix..
correct euu oso scold..
wrong euu oso scold..
wat euu realli wan mi to do worx?
euu tell mi lahx..
i realli dun dare go tell euu anithings le lorx..
i juz keep it to myself..
i dun wish to let euu noe anithings frm mi le..
i am slient..
euu sae i hab been change bad to worse..
okiex..
i admit..
sae i always so late den go home..
i early go home..
den?
face all de wall?
okiex..
suan le..
as next month
de hu wanna cum out le..
anithings euu go tok to her bahx..
euu juz treat mi nt in tis world bahx..
as i live in tis world oso nt happi de..
muz as well die le more better..


LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

2dae go skul as normal..
go up to de hall..
wao..see most of de pupils was wearing red t-shirt..
as 2dae we celebrate national dae mahx..
hahax..
at abt 7.30am(i tink so cant remember)
all sec 1 to 5 r to go to their place watch de parade..
after de parade end all pupil r to assemble to de hall again..
wau lau de teacher veri wat lorx..
sae de ground floor pupil go back to de classroom..
bt den nt lorx..
i tot all muz go back to de hall again..
anihow sae..
at de hall veri fun sia..
sing song..
so high sia..
see de teacher act..
first time tis skul gt tis program sia..
last year dun hab de worx..
gallery pupils veri high worx..
hahax..
abt 9+ sec 1 pupils go parade square play caption ball..
sec 2 go vollyball count play bball..
sec 3 stay at hall play badminton..
den sec 4 n 5 go field play soccer..
our class lyk neva challenge our class de lorx..
de mr pang lahx..
lyk dun wan our class play lyk tat..
de time wanna reach le den he call them play..
wat sia..
lyk tat oso can..
suan le..
as i nt playin..
10.15am all of them assemble at de hall again..
see de prize giving..
see which class has won..
our class neva won anithing..
hahax..
after finish seeing de prize i dun feel lyk wanna end sia..
bt den bo bian it alreadi 10.45 le..
so hab to dismiss de skul lorx..
haix..
sianx diaox..
so happily bt den need to end..
i meet kapo at de hall outside..
meet le kapo we go out of de gate find xin..
after tat go mac eat..
haix..
at de mac dere saw serene..
she tell ah jie tat i at dere..
wau lau..
dun feel wanna let her noe lorx..
haix..
serene gib mi de phone sae ah jie wanna find mi..
wa.......
pick up le.. she sae many things..
after tat she sae at nitex call her..
haix..
dun feel wanna call her lehx..
wanna call mahx..
sianx lorx..
sit dere until 1+ bahx..
den sae wanna go home mahx..
so all decided go home lorx..
as gt nth to do at dere oso..


LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

dare to tok to euu abit le..
bt still lyk..
neva mind..
try bahx..
omg..teacher gib us homework le..
still gt one question haben finish..
bt neva mind..
fridae den pass up..
so dun need to worry abt it..
hahax..
so long teacher neva gib us homework..
suddenly 2dae gib worx..
hahax..
haix..sianx diaox..
sae wanna 4get bt still cant..
LiHuA try ur best okiex..
euu can do it de..
hahax..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

i gona stop tinking le..
nw wo yao zhuan xin of my studies le..
hahax..
2 more daes le..
xiaoxin..
gd luck..
ni ke yi de..
hahax..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
dui bu qi..
zheng de hen dui bu qi..
haix..
i dun noe wat to sae..
somethings gona happen again..
i veri scare..
please dun..
please dun..
i dun wish to..
haix..
PLEASE........

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

haix..
wo bu yao de shi ta fa sheng le..
wei sheng mo..
wat is de next step should i move..
can anione tell mi..
realli wanna be lyk tis..
suan le..
if euu dun wan i wont force euu..
i am de one hu choose tis way..
cant turn back animore..
onli can walk on..
all is my fault..
cant blame anione..
i realli realli veri hate myself..
if euu realli wanna treat mi lyk tat..
one thing i onli can do is to face it lorx..
haix..
cant sae anithing le..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

euu hab change alot..
lian wo dou bu ren shi ni le..
i am trying to tok..
bt euu dun gib a damm..
juz 4get it lorx..
suan le..
nth hab to sae..
maybe i was too selfish bahx..
thankx worx..
thankx 4 listening when i tok..
when i wanna to tok euu always be there..
4 more daes le..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

haix..wat should i write 4 2dae nehx..
things has realli be change..
cant be back le..
onli can face it..
haix..
since lyk nth to tok le..
euu oso seen it le worx..
i cant sae anythings ritex nw..
no use de..
maybe euu sae de is correct bahx..
i should hab do it frm nw onward..
i cant tell anyone..
they wont noe de..
haix..
5 more daes le..
muz try hard worx..
*xiao xin*
see whether euu can do it..


LiHuA aKa AhHuA

I am back..

izzit de person is mi?
i guess de..
haix..
i dun realli noe..
arhhhhhhhh............
nw a daes is lyk we getting further n further..
i dun noe wat should i goin to sae..
is lyk i feel stranger to euu all le..
i dun realli noe wat happen..
maybe all hab to change le bahx..
or maybe i nt fit to be wif euu..
or maybe it is tian yi bahx..
nobody will noe..haix..
y always wanna sae de same things again..
euu noe wat euu sae to mi is getting more hurt..
euu noe wat has happen to mi..
euu wont noe wat i feel..
euu wont..
y tat person always mi..
izzit i am a gal tat's y is mi..
cant be others?
is lyk wat euu sae wan mi studi hard..
nw i realli dun hab de mood to studi..
DUN HAB..
haix..
becoz of euu i realli hab to change?
maybe bahx..
wat euu hab told mi tat person will change?
tat person wont..
euu noe mahx..
WONT..
tat person 4eva lyk tis de..
i am sick n tired le..
i dun hab de eyes to see le..
i am veri tired..
can let mi rest awhile mahx?
y cant euu change?
y cant?
can euu stop tat..
euu noe nw a daes i realli dun wish to see ur face..
i hate..
i hope tat i dun live here..
i dun wish to cum back..
i wish to stay outside..
i cum back is lyk i am ur chu qi tong..
y always is mi?
is lyk i dun fit at here..
y euu always treat them so gd..
y always treat mi so bad..
euu noe euu treat mi lyk tat i realli veri hate euu..
if euu tink i dun fit here..
y euu dun wan throw mi away..
y dun euu gib others..
y dun let mi die in de first place?
i hate tis kind of life tat euu gib mi..
I REALLI HATE..
i realli hope euu dun cum back..
haix..
i dun noe lahx..
i realli veri tired le..
no more voice to sae le..
sae le oso no use..
haix..
stop here le..

LiHuA aKa AhHuA